Time to Upgrade

This is my cell phone. Go ahead. Laugh if you must. I've already bore the ridicule of 21 seventh-graders today when my phone slipped out of the small pocket of my purse during first period, skittered across the floor and landed square beside one of the student tables.

"What is it?"

A few of them came from neighboring tables to bend down and get a closer look.

"Oh my God, is that your cell phone?" 

"Yes, that's my cheap little cell phone that I've had forever," I explained with a chuckle.  No one was smiling.

"For real?"

"Yes, for real."

I went to pick it up and was blocked by a girl who had her iPhone 6S drawn like an Old West sharpshooter and she was taking aim at my LG.

"HOLD IT!" she shouted and with one arm she pressed the class back. They were now all out of their seats to get a look at the relic on the floor. With the other arm she shot a picture.

"It's a dinosaur!" Laughter. "Why do you have it?" More laughter. 

The girl's thumbs rapidly flew over her iPhone's keyboard. "Wait'l my mother sees THIS!" I saw what she typed: Check out Mrs. Cowperthwaite's phone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I may have missed an exclamation point).

Just like that, I was in middle school and by that I mean that I felt that I was back in middle school again, awkward and flustered. I felt as if I had to explain to them why I had this outdated little device.

"Well, I hardly ever use it."

They just stared.

"...and, so I um...I carry my iPad Mini around so I really don't need a cell phone other than this." Heat flushed at my face.

They were still just staring back at me.

"... and I only pay, like,  $35 every couple of months..." In my embarrassment I started talking like them.

Someone coughed. A boy, trying to be kind said, "Oh, well I guess that's cool."

Students exchanged looks and returned slowly to their seats as I quickly snatched up my little phone and slid it back into my purse. 
I started class as usual and we rolled along into the lesson for the day, but something was changed in the room, a shift in the energy. In middle school culture, the technology you carry defines you and the accidental sighting of my pitifully outdated cellphone somehow did not match the image my students had of me. They were shocked into sullenness over seeing my phone, as if I had revealed to them a wooden leg or that I live under a bridge.

So why do I still have this silly little phone?  

The truth is, our life over the last few years had gotten too expensive and my husband and I scrambled to downsize everything -- our house, our cars, our commutes, our utilities -- anything we could, as his income shrank and I co-signed student loans for my son. The phone just was not a priority for me. Upgrading to a more expensive phone and plan was something I could easily do without  and so I have gone on carrying the old LG all this time and limiting my texts to "K" and "C U L8R." I really don't mind and am happy to avoid the constant pressure of checking my messages or snapping photos of the world. Instead I can just "be" in the world.

But today I discovered that I did mind how my students perceived me. Today I just didn't measure up to their technological expectations.

It was Heraclitus of Ephesus, a wise Greek philosopher of ancient days, who said "The only constant in the universe is change." (Or something like that). As the universe would have it, I received an email when I got home this afternoon from my cellular service provider telling me that my old cell phone was obsolete and they were sending me a new one.  The change would be painless and free.  It's funny how things happen like this.

I guess it's time to upgrade, lest I become obsolete.