Sub Phobia

Today I had to take a personal day to drive my son to the airport. Whenever I have to be out, I tell the students about it the day before and explain exactly what they will be doing for an assignment.  Still, I know it will turn into an issue, a protest at being abandoned for one whole day. It doesn't matter what school I am teaching in or what types of kids I am working with, the indignation crosses demographics. They all scowl and say "Noooooooooo!" the same way. 

I have tried not telling them ahead of time. I've tried sneaking off like an inexperienced parent leaving a child at daycare for the first time.  Doesn't work. I still have to deal with the scowls the next day, along with a litany of complaints about the sub. 

At the dawn of my teaching days, I used to think the protest was because they were all going to miss me. But thirteen-year-olds are more honest than adults trying to flatter themselves. With just a little probing I discovered it had nothing to do with missing me because they thought I was fabulous. They were, instead,  sub-phobic. Their biggest fear is that the Aesop Substitute Universe will send them a sub who .dun..dun..dun...THEY DON'T LIKE.

"Oh my God, what if we get the guy that smells like cheese and smiles at us like a ventriloquist dummy?"

"...Or that lady with the hairy mole that shows us pictures of her chihuahua with the missing chin!"

They are literally afraid of not liking the sub. I'm a big believer in facing fear so after I carefuly review the assignment they will be left with and assure them I will return, I simply tell them "So what? So what if you don't like the sub? You don't have to like your sub."

Silence. Blink. 

"We don't?"

"Nope, you only have to be respectful and do your assignment.  That's it. You'll be fine."

And they always are.

There is, I suspect, a larger issue here about being bothered by something that you don't like, an issue beyond the walls of the classroom. Are we, as a society becoming a little too touchy about things we don't like? That would be a longer discussion for a longer day.